* Firstly, apologies for the overly worded post and secondly, a warning that if you're offended by a couple of swear words, then its probably best that you don't read on. For all the rest- Enjoy! :)
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| Me, drinking herbal tea, attempting to chill the fuck out despite no tripod. Grrr!!! |
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Very laid back outfit today.
Vest: Topshop
Levi Shorts: bought off ebay
Belt: Zara, Tights: Primark, Socks: H&M. |
Although I maintain this is a lifestyle blog I've still never wanted to or felt the need to divulge too much personal information. In a way that's why I love the blogging world, as the snippets you read about other peoples lives are presented in a manner that makes it seem as if they live such fantastic, whimsical existences. And its so refreshing in comparison to how overflooded my facebook news feed is with other people bemoaning about how bored they are, or how outraged they are that Eastenders isn't showing because the channel is covering a humanitarian crisis! So, when I started this blog, as a rule I didn't want it to be an arena where I bitched or moaned (that's what mums are for lolz). However, for today's post I will break that optimistic rule that I made all those two whole months ago. It's a rule that needs to be broken because it explains why I latterly bought said items below, so all in all, still in keeping with the ethos of this blog.
Okay, so I HATE Uni, like yes, I know you've probably heard a million people moan about before, or indeed you've been in that situation where mid way through uni you yourself have indeed hated Uni. But, I HATE Uni ( ppl please note my use of capitals and underlining and how strongly I'm trying to emphasis that I absolutely, utterly detest Uni) I've hated it since like week 2 when it dawned on me what a humongous mistake I had made with choosing the wrong course, wrong uni but ultimately the wrong time to go to Uni. I just wasn't mature enough to handle the self discipline that Uni entails but I couldn't change course or uni cause I would have felt a failure if I had done so. So three years down the line, and I'm miserable and I'm just trying to keep my head above water, get a pass mark, and get the fuck out of there. Today, was one of those days that I wished I had left Uni all those years ago...
Well, I knew last night that something wasn't right when I wanted to doze off to sleep at 8 o'clock, because I am ordinarily such a night owl. Then again, when I woke at 7 this morning, I was all sweaty and pale and shivering. I left my flat in a rush, without breakfast because I was running late for an important and unmissable tutorial at Uni today. The shakes continued on the train and I just put it down to not having breakfast so even though I was already late I stopped off at McDonald's to grab a coffee and hash brown to give me some much needed energy. The building in which I have my tutorial has one of those huge industrial sized lifts that crushes like 40 odd students in like sardines. So in I went into the lift today and it was busy as usual, at the back I saw a of few of my classmates and gave them a nod. On its way to floor 5 it went, and by that stage the caffeine had really started to kick in and I felt really shaky and hot. But after it reached level 2 it all of a sudden started descending to ground level again. Ping the door slide open and some students waiting to get in noticed the confused expression of those already in the lift faces and stayed put. Others, anxious that they were late for class as well started to pile in until literally my nose was pressed against someone else's bag. I felt very suffocated, like I couldn't breathe, and hot and dizzy and I just couldn't wait to get out into open air again. Then the guy infront of me must have lost his balance and fell slightly back onto me causing my roasting hot coffee to spill all over my body. And that was it! For whatever reason I seriously lost the plot, I gasped in horror, the guy turned round and meekly apologised, then I just shouted out that I needed out the lift- "Stop the lift! Stop the lift! I need to get out!" I screamed like a banshee. Queue everyone staring at me blankly like some sort of weirdo, and some nervous giggling from the ones at the back. When we did eventually reach to level 5, I elbowed my way out from the crowd and promptly began to cry, not just cute little girl whimpers, but proper violent croaky crying. And then, I just couldn't physically go to my tutorial. I was just overcome with anxiety and fear and I just wanted to run away. Plus, there was people in the lift from my class who had saw me, and not one of them stopped to see if I was okay.
So I just sat in the a computer lab next to my tutorial in an attempt to compose myself. Now I have never experienced that kind of anxiety before. I'm quite a confident person always willing to speak publicly and I'm usually the first in the line for karoke so it just came out of the blue. I don't want to say it was a panic attack cause I'm still unsure and I don't want to belittle those who suffer from them. But I just think a combination of being unwell, running late, too much caffeine and literally hating. every. single. minute. of. uni was a dangerous concoction that caused me to lose it today.
So I vowed whilst sitting in the computer lab staring blankly at the bbc newspage that I would never again be so overcome with anxiety, and I spent the rest of my day doing things to 'chill the fuck out!' (said in my head in the voice of Mark Darcy from the Briget Jones's Diary):-
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First stop was at this bric-a-brac shop in the centre of Glasgow that sell some well random stuff. First of all, I got a dream catcher 'cause I've been having some really disturbing nightmares recently and because of that I've avoided going to bed until I'm literally passing out on the couch. I also got some lavender oil that I'm gonna pour into my bath at nights, and then sprinkle a few droplets on my pillow.
Then some herbal tea, because caffeine is the source of the devil and makes me all cranky! And,I also got the bracelet that has Catholic images and iconology on them. In my teens I used to have something very similar and would wear that along side my rosary beads sometimes. But, because I'm quite a reluctant church goer these days I haven't felt comfortable wearing jewellery with religious significance as a fashion accessory when I no longer practice the faith. However, like millions before me, when faced with a crisis I sought solace in religion, and I'm gonna wear it from now on as a comfort to remind me of my roots and previous beliefs.
And finally I got Guatemalan Worry People... |
How cute are they!
Basically, the idea is that you tell these little people your worries at night, then place them underneath your pillow in the the bag, and by the morning the worry people take your worries away. I just think they are so cute. But when I try it out tonight I'll have to be sure to go to bed early, as there's a WHOLE LOTTA worrying going through my head right now!
And, then... just because I had had a crap day... a wee mini haul in Primark :)
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Kimono: Primark £10
Love, love, love this! Can't wait for the summer and I'm gonna rock this with tribal head band and flared jeans. |
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Scarf: £4.
I've seen a lot of girls wearing this and a lot of my friends also have it, but I couldn't resist- its a bargain. Plus, because its oversized I think I'm also gonna use it as a sarong for my summer hol. |
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Skirt: £12
Now this may be one of those items that I look back and think what was I thinking! But, then again until I manage to get my rugby sized legs under control a longer sized skirt may be a good thing.
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And.... breathe! Phew... Well done for anyone who actually read that post in full- cause god I'm so bored of it, I can't even be bothered to check for typos. I just feel really stupid tonight. So much so, I'm not even telling this to my friends nor my mum. And yet, here I am telling all you 7 followers, and whoever else may stumble upon my blog -hi btw! :)
So has anybody else had a similar experience or used any of the voodoo stuff I bought? And does any of it actually work??? Would love to hear from you.
xxx
